Self Esteem Should Be Earned

In August I traveled to Baraboo to cover their school district's first annual New Teacher Academy, a two-day conference designed specifically for people new to the profession. The keynote speaker for the event, Paul Gasser, a counselor for Mayo/Franciscan Health Care and an instructor at UW-Platteville, has some strong opinions as to why many students do not succeed in school.
"Many of our children are not learning how to struggle," insists Gasser. "They come to school with a sense of entitlement. They believe that kids who are successful are either lucky or rich." Gasser insists that the best way to address this situation on the home front is to give them chores. Gasser was brought up in a fairly well-to-do family, but his parents insisted that he learn the value of hard work.
I was gratified by Andrea O'Laughlin's comments regarding my August column about trendy parenting theories. Particularly, I was struck by her comment that many students receive "incessant praise for simply being." A recent piece by conservative columnist Betsy Hart revealed that many companies are showering their young employees with praise, giving them "kudos just for coming to work on time." If we have produced a generation of young people who expect and receive praise for accomplishing little or nothing, then the blame lies not only with the family structure, but in the way our schools have reacted to societal pressures.
I remember one professor in my undergraduate days issuing a warning: "If you don't get the material the first time you read it, then I guess you had better read it again. And again." In my own classroom, I would admonish my students that I was reluctant to help them with a difficult assignment unless I could tell that they had studied the material thoroughly enough that they could at least ask me intelligent questions. Teachers hear "I just don't get it" all the time. There are very few assignments given these days that are so abstruse that a student can't understand any of them. What would be the point? Most students are capable of understanding the material they are asked to study. Many are unwilling to put in the time to do so.
One of my favorite classes to teach was Composition 12, Honors. That class was challenging not only for the students, but also for me. Even though the majority of the students were pretty good writers by their senior year, thanks to their previous instructors, they were not ready for the rigors of the most demanding college courses, and it was up to me to get them there (something that was easier to do when we were on regular scheduling as opposed to block--but that's another column). Many of them who were used to getting A's on their papers suddenly found themselves receiving C's, D's, or even F's when being graded on a strict college scale. They struggled and I struggled with them. At the end of many school days, students would be lined up ten or more deep seeking the extra help they needed. And they knew enough not to come to me empty-handed or show me a mediocre effort.
Finally, for most of these kids, the day would come when I could hand back an assignment with an "A" for a grade. Their reaction would usually be to give me a big smile; some would even get teary-eyed. Those tears were tears of pride. Those smiles were the outward manifestation of their newly-found self-esteem. They had struggled and persevered. They had achieved a skill that no one could ever take from them. That's how self-esteem is taught, not doled out like candy.
The value of something that is simply handed out is not as great as the value of something that has been earned. Struggle builds character, it fosters a sense of competitiveness, and it teaches that not everything in life comes easily, nor should it. Our teachers should be encouraged to push their students to their limits, not confined to teaching to a lowest common denominator for the sake of some students' self-esteem. No teacher worthy of the title is unwilling to go the extra mile for his or her students, as long as those students walk that extra mile themselves. Instruction, not meaningless pats on the back, is the primary function of our schools. Instruction that challenges students and teachers produces rewards far greater than hollow praise.